Becoming a therapist

Here we are. This is my first blog post and quite honestly- I don't have a whole lot of insight on what I am doing. I would never consider myself a writer of any sort; however, I do think the therapeutic relationship and finding a therapist where you can allow yourself to be vulnerable is one of the most important aspects of therapy. So, I figured since that is important to me as a therapist, then maybe I should share a little bit about myself. My mom always told me she knew I was going to be some type of therapist or counselor growing up, but I never really knew what that meant.

When I was 14 it was a rough year. My parents were going through a separation and one of my childhood friends died by suicide. At this time, I didn't really know what depression, anxiety, or suicide was, I just knew that I was getting through days the best that I could. My friend Erika's suicide shocked the community. She was 14 years old, from a wealthy community, a dancer, kind, popular, beautiful, smart, and a light in any room. Many people looked up to her and it seems that many peers did not know the pain she was silently suffering. After she passed away, her parents created an organization called Erika's Lighthouse to promote mental health advocacy and awareness of adolescent depression and mental health. During this time, I was

part of the peer group that created the 'teen board'. We'd gather in the library in the mornings and authentically talk about mental health and what, as teenagers and adolescents, we felt we needed from parents, teachers and counselors. Erika's Lighthouse provided me with such knowledge, support, education, and awareness of my own needs- I am forever grateful for this community. Throughout high school I would visit other schools and present on, from a teens perspective, stories and information about adolescent depression to other peers, teachers, adults. I felt so empowered to bring light on to the conversation of mental health and that it was okay to talk about sadness, suicide, loneliness. Because of Erika's Lighthouse, I was able to talk to my own mom about my feelings and needing my own help.

This is where becoming a therapist journey comes in. Throughout those years I saw my own therapist and interacted with counselors in different areas; through Erika's Lighthouse, school counselors, my own therapist, etc. I remember after Erika died a school counselor pulled me from class to talk. I don't remember what this person looked like, what their name was, I think it was a female but honestly I have no memory. What I do remember is how this person asked me how I was feeling and if I was doing okay. First, no I was not doing okay- who would be doing okay as a 14 year old who just found out their friend died by suicide. Secondly, I had NEVER seen this person before- I didn't even know the school had a counselor. So, obviously I did not want to share how I was authentically feeling. As years went by and I learned more about mental health, therapy, and the stigma surrounding these issues I always wondered why were conversations not happening to be more preventative? How was this the first time I had interacted with the school counselor? Why was the first time I interacted with the school counselor after a tragedy? Why was this the first time I was hearing that it was okay to feel sad, how to grieve, and what mental health was. I realized I didn't want that for others. I wanted teens, parents, adults, whoever, to realize that therapy and feelings don't have to be scary. If you have a relationship and know the resources PRIOR to a crisis, a crisis is less likely to happen. Which has molded my therapy style and my emphasis on the therapeutic relationship.

When I went to college I initially was an undecided major that assumed I would go into the helping field; or accounting- I randomly love math, but didn't know what type of helping field. The college of social work is where I landed my sophomore year where I would go on to graduate with my Bachelor's in Social Work. I worked at mental institutions doing intake assessments and working with long term patients, school systems, and intensive in home therapy services. I worked with parents, children, teens, adults, and family systems. I then realized I wanted to get my Master's degree and really learn more specific therapeutic techniques. From there I received my Master's in Mental Health Counseling. I interned at a residential facility with adolescent males who had criminal charges ranging from assault and battery, robbery, etc. I was also trained in assessments for at risk and inappropriate sexual behaviors and doing their treatment. I was then hired to work as a therapist at this residential facility on the side where the adolescents had inappropriate sexual behaviors and charges related to these. I loved it there. I loved the staff, the clients I worked with, I loved working with a population that others had deemed as 'hard, difficult' and wildly stigmatized. I loved empowering the clients and learning about their trauma. However, my husband and I then moved to South Carolina so I left that position and found a private practice to work in. I started exposing myself to working with more adults and to my surprise enjoyed it. I moved on from there to a state agency position where I was contracted by schools to be a therapist with a smaller caseload within schools. Again- I loved it! I loved being in a school and getting to know staff, I loved starting conversations about mental health and normalizing anxiety, depression, ADHD, and becoming trained in trauma therapy. I absolutely LOVED my coworkers and my supervisor who I continue to stay in contact with.

Then I had children of my own. I have a patient, caring, kind, cautious 4 year old. And I have a rambunctious, daring, strong willed 2 year old. Both are absolutely amazing and I love them dearly. In the beginning motherhood was wonderful and I was managing; however, as time went on I realized how difficult it was starting to become working with children who had extensive trauma and separating that from my own life. I began to recognize beginning stages of burnout and did not want to get to that point. So, a few of my coworker friends and I began dabbling in the idea of our own private practice. My husband, who is the most supportive, helped encourage us and make that dream a reality. So, I put my notice in to my state agency position where I had won the 2020 outstanding employee of the year award was won the 2021 Louise Hassenplug Award for outstanding clinician in my county. I told my supervisor I loved my job and wanted to leave it while still loving it. I also wanted to be able to take more time off with my children and work with a population that was not so close to home.

Okay, now to where I am now! I opened my private practice in May 2021 and have absolutely loved this journey. Has it been stressful, challenging, and learning a business aspect that I have never had to tackle before- all yes. However, has it been rewarding, fun, empowering, and my passion- also yes. I started seeing an array of clients and eventually found my niche. I currently love working with adults who need a space to vent about their relationship, work, parenting, and all the aspects that come with adulthood while also empowering them and giving them the tools to better manage anxiety and stress.

As I re-read this blog in hopes it made sense I realized how much I use the phrase 'loved it'. I stacked my brain to see if there was another word I could put there so it wasn't so annoying and redundant- but the truth is I don't have one. I have truthfully have loved my journey within the mental health field and am excited to see where it takes me. Learning different techniques, client populations, and navigating treatment and supervision, it all services the purpose of improving someone's quality of life. I have enjoyed each and every one of my clients despite their intensity, severity, background, presenting issues, and any challenges that we faced. I truly love being a therapist.